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The holiday season is here, the six-week rush from Halloween to Christmas that feels like a blend of magic and chaos. Between work parties, family dinners and neighborhood get-togethers, our schedules fill up quickly.
For some, it’s the most wonderful time of the year; for others, it’s a balancing act of expectations, obligations and glittering chaos.
Arkansas author Abby Kuykendall understands both sides of that story. Her new book, Let the Biscuits Burn: Cultivating Real-Life Hospitality in a World Craving Connection, challenges traditional ideas of entertaining. Instead of stressing over spotless houses or magazine-ready tablescapes, Abby encourages readers to focus on the true essence of hosting, the people. “You may not even be gathering at an actual table,” she laughs, “and that’s completely fine.”
In a state where our grandmothers taught us to butter every dish and make everything beautiful, Let the Biscuits Burn serves as a cheerful reminder that love, laughter, and a bit of imperfection might just be the secret ingredients of genuine hospitality.
Hospitality vs. Entertaining
Abby’s first lesson? Know the difference.
“Hospitality,” she explains, “is about making someone feel known, loved and seen.” It’s not about the menu, the mood lighting or the curated playlist; it’s about the person in front of you.
- Hospitality: It’s intentional, flexible and authentic. It’s about inviting someone into your real life, not a staged version of it.
- Entertaining: It’s about how things look and feel to us, rather than how they feel to our guests.
Abby says it best: “We’re humans who naturally serve the party we’d want to attend. But hospitality invites us to think about what makes our guests feel comfortable and cared for. Where we pursue presence over perfection.”
What Keeps Us from Being Hospitable?
Let’s be honest – we’ve all had those moments of hesitation.
- My house isn’t decorated enough.
- We don’t have enough chairs.
- Everyone’s probably too busy anyway.
- I can’t cook!
Sound familiar? Abby calls these “hospitality blockers.” Between Pinterest pressure, busy schedules and fear of imperfection, we’ve convinced ourselves that gathering people is too much trouble or, frankly, just too hard!
“Real-life hospitality,” she says, “happens in the messy middle of everyday life, on mundane Tuesdays or Sunday afternoons when the plans change.” When we wait for everything to be perfect, we miss the beauty of ordinary connection, the kind we all crave.
Her advice? Start small. Invite one or two people. Pick a time that feels comfortable for you. Keep it simple. “Imagine hospitality as a practice, not a performance,” she says. “It grows easier with gentle repetition.”
Holiday Hospitality Made Simple
You don’t have to throw an elaborate party to create meaningful moments. Abby’s toolkit for easy hospitality includes flexible ideas and a few practical must-haves:
Tools that make hosting easier:
- Kraft paper as a quick table runner or buffet cover. Get your markers and label the buffet line, or stamp or draw festive patterns.
- Printed napkins or festive paper plates.
- Disposable cups and cutlery—yes, it’s OK!
- Digital invitations to simplify RSVPs.
- Rotisserie chicken, grocery-store dips or pre-made sides (no shame in store-bought!).
Go-to holiday recipes and snacks:
- Party crackers or classic snack mix.
- Crescent roll bites (stuffed with sausage, pizza toppings or veggies).
- Flatbreads with seasonal toppings like pomegranate, tomato or loaded hummus.
- Soups that feed a crowd – pumpkin chili, white bean chili or chicken tortellini soup – are favorites.
- Taquito or taco bar for low-stress gatherings.
Abby makes this really easy through her cookbook, The Living Table, a practical guide to tackling holiday entertaining and using a “semi-homemade” mindset to let the grocery store do the hard work for you!
Preparing the Hostess
For many of us, hospitality feels easier when we have a few tricks up our sleeves. Abby offers simple ways to create a warm, welcoming environment without the fuss:
Easy conversation starters:
- “What keeps you busy these days?”
- “Do you have any fun holiday plans?”
- “What’s your favorite Christmas tradition?”
- “Are you already thinking about something you want to start in the new year?”
Fun icebreakers:
- Say one thing you’re thankful for.
- Share a favorite holiday memory.
- What items are on your Christmas list?
- What item do you always take to a favorite things party?
- Name your favorite Christmas song. Then you must stand with those people through the prayer or toast?
Quick décor ideas:
- Use what you already have—seasonal greenery ornaments in a bowl or holiday mugs.
- Keep decorated napkins or dollar-store tablecloths on hand for instant cheer.
- Light a candle, turn on music, and let conversation do the rest.
As I told Abby, I’ve long called myself the “hostess with the McMostess.” But what she reminded me is that hospitality isn’t about having the perfect setup, it’s about showing up and inviting people in. When people feel welcomed and relaxed, they come back.
Cook the Cook: Real-Life Scenarios
I couldn’t resist asking Abby how to handle a few holiday hospitality curveballs. Here’s her rapid-fire advice for real-life moments:
- Neighbor: Bake a loaf of bread or take a mixed platter of cookies you made with your kids. Stop by and introduce yourself.
- Co-worker: Invite them for a lunch walk or to lunch for a meaningful chat during the workday.
- Mom friend: Meet at a park or plan to complete a Jesse Tree activity together. Or use this special time to tackle a “drivable” outing together.
- Church or hobby group: Host a themed potluck, no gifts required. Add it to something you are already doing.
- Cookies: Host a “make and take” cookie night or surprise neighbors with a “You’ve Been Elfed” plate.
- Christmas lights: Plan a neighborhood scavenger hunt for light designs, or a family stroll where you walk and look at lights together on the same night.
- Wrapping presents: Yes, it matters! Turn it into a wrapping party with soup, pizza and a Christmas movie.
- In-laws: Honor their traditions. “It worked long before you,” she says with a laugh. “You don’t have to perfect it.”
- Someone is busy this season: Drop off three fun wrapping papers and seven fun bows you already tied for them. It makes them feel seen through a hardship
- Someone alone this season: Don’t let them be, invite them. “They’ll show up if asked.”
Start Where You Are
The holidays can feel like a marathon, but Abby encourages us to see them as a rhythm rather than a sprint. “You can’t wait until you’re in the middle of it to start thinking about it,” she says. “Pick a few people to invest in deeply, start now with what you can do, and extend those connections into the new year.”
Whether you’re lighting the tree, baking cookies or grabbing takeout, hospitality isn’t about what’s on the table. It’s about who’s around it.
So, pick a date. Invite a friend or two – warm something from the freezer or order pizza. And if you have to make breakfast for dinner, even if the biscuits burn, do it. Because in the end, the goal isn’t to impress, it’s to connect.
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